Losing the afternoon nap

This has probably been my hardest parenting hurdle. For a few short months, I had blissful afternoons. With both munchkins snoozing for about two hours at the same time, I could do the chores in peace, bake, waste time on social media and drink as many HOT cups of tea as I liked. It was even possibly to occasionally have a nap myself!

But no more…

I started to realise that when the two-year-old munchkin had a long arvo kip, she was up at all hours of the night singing and talking. Suddenly my great 12-hour sleeper was one no more.

But afternoon naps?? What about MY time???

This was why it was the hardest parenting decision. I consulted all my friends who have older kiddies and gathered ideas. As one of the wise mums at playgroup pointed out, it’s psychologically difficult for the stay-at-home parent – in practice, it’s just another step. Another step up that parenting ladder.

So this is what we did:

• I explained to big munchkin that sometimes Mummy is busy and has to do some things by herself. At that time, it can be her ‘quiet time’.
• We changed her cot into a bed, so that she can get in and out as she pleases. Just in case she wants an arvo nap.
• We bought a CD player and I burnt a whole lot of kids CDs. I taught her how to use it herself.
• We put pretty lights up in her room for a bit of fun and ambiance.
• We made an ikea hack learning tower so she can help me with dinner prep.
• All her crafty things (play-doh, stickers, pencils, paper, etc) are accessible, so she can help herself.

And does it work?

As with everything, sometimes yes and sometimes no. I probably get at least 30-45 mins (but sometimes longer if I’m lucky) each arvo when she plays quietly in her room. Every now and again (once a week or fortnight) she might have a snooze – not always in bed (see photo below)! When nothing is working, the garden usually does. And I still get wifi in the backyard.

I also try to be very hands-on in the morning, so she seems more accepting of my personal time in the afternoons. I think I’m also better at getting my chores done super-efficiently: multiple loads of washing don’t get hung out until they’re all washed, dishes get done and the dishwasher gets (un)packed whilst the two of them are eating lunch and tidying up happens whilst we play!

What happens when the next one stops napping??? EEK! That’s something for future Sof to worry about.

If you have any other good ‘quiet time’ activities that have worked for you… please comment below.

Baby Routines (aka, The Blog Post That Will Most Likely Get Me Punched In The Nose)

Ah, such a touchy subject. When other mums discuss how many times they get up in the night, I keep my mouth shut. When other mums despair over the few hours of sleep they get, I change the topic. When they comment that I look well-rested, I smile and thank them.

I’m not saying I’m a genius or anything… it’s probably just genetics… maybe my kids just sleep well.

But, we did it once, and we’ve done it again. We have another good sleeper.

So, why am I writing this down? No, I don’t want to get punched in the nose. But yes, people do ask me what we did. I’ve been asked at least three times to give a detailed description. And I think I should share. Especially for when someone asks 5 years down the track and I just can’t remember. Plus, I’m proud – I think we did a good  job. And I don’t think I should feel guilty.

It’s not easy. And you need patience. And strength. And a like of bouncing. Well, at least a tolerance of bouncing.

First, we threw the ‘feeding on demand’ idea out the window, which is a bit controversial. My first night at the hospital by myself was hell and decided that I just didn’t want to do it this way. Someone had mentioned four-hourly feeds to us (the old-fashioned way, I think) and we thought we’d give it a try. And we were told that sleep training started at four months. We didn’t want to wait that long. So I have no idea whether this would work later on since we only did it from birth.

This is where the patience comes in. You have to push bubs to wait until a four hourly interval before you feed. This means someone, ideally not the one with boobs, has to hold a screaming baby for about half an hour or so.

But it only takes a few days. Literally.

And, suddenly, I started getting a few hours of sleep in between feeds. And both children very quickly dropped one of their night feeds (shown in brackets below), so they were doing one eight-hour stretch. Baby 1 by five weeks, and baby 2 by eight weeks. Also, the final feed before the long stretch is a looong feed. But it’s totally worth it. We also slowly moved this one back to lengthen the overnight sleep. We chose the times based on my job for the first, and on around the nap schedule of the first, for baby two.

Baby 1: 6am, 10am, 2pm, 6pm, 10pm, (2am)

Baby 2: 8am, 12pm, 4pm, 8pm, (12am), 4am

If either of them woke early during the night, hubby would cuddle and bounce (this is where a fit ball really comes in handy) until they either dozed off or it got to feeding time. However, if they slept past their feeding time, we didn’t wake them, we just waited until they woke. Never wake a sleeping baby, right?

So, feel free to punch me in the nose if you really need to (preferably a cyber-punch), but I hope this information helps new parents out there who may be despairing.

However, neither of my children have been good bottle feeders… instead of throwing a punch, maybe throw me some awesome tips!